Last week at 3 AM in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), I found myself praying that God would be Glorified in the life of my newborn son, however short it may be.
It was odd that I was praying for God’s glory more than Jonathan’s healing. But it showed me how God has worked in my life. Isn’t not my greatest desire that I would be able to have a healthy son who will grow up to love Jesus. I do desire that, more than I desire to eat or sleep. But it was my greatest desire that Jesus would be glorified in Jonathan’s life.
Last January we had a miscarriage. It was incredibly hard. We mourned for a long time. And when I talk about it today, I get a lump in my throat and sometimes my eyes start to feel watery. But I know that God was glorified in the short life of that tiny, unborn baby. I can only hope for the same with Jonathan, that God would be glorified in his life.
It’s not that losing a child, born or unborn, is easy. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt or that you don’t cry and mourn the loss of that life. And it’s not that you aren’t supposed to love your children. Of course you are. Those things are still hard. You are still supposed to mourn. You are still supposed to hurt. That is why you hurt when they are hurt and well up with joy when you just look at them. But that love for your child should be overshadowed by your love for Jesus.
Today we’re still mourning the loss of our unborn and celebrating the life of our first born.
But the mourning and hurting is temporary. This life is temporary. And while we’re here, our main goal should be to Glorify our creator, the God of the universe, who loved us so much that he sent his son to save us from our sinful selves, to reconcile us to Himself. We don’t come to Jesus for a “better way” or for “wisdom” or even to be forgiven from our sin. We come to Jesus to glorify his name, to praise our creator, and to worship the one and only God who has blessed us with the life of his Son, while we’re still sinners who don’t deserve it. We glorify His name because He is the only one worthy of receiving glory.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)