It’s not often that I (Stephanie) write my own posts on this site…I like to save my first person comments for the truly spectacular moments (see my fire-ball episode). However, I found this little incident sufficiently interesting for me to comment:
Yeah…that’s not mine…
So I’ve been working on my tan in view of our upcoming Jamaica trip. I neither want to be glow-in-the-dark, winter-white, pasty-ghost, or any other hyphenated derogatory term. (If you want to insult my paleness in a non-hyphenated way, I’ll have to consider my tolerance of that on a case-by-case basis.) So I’ve been “laying out” in the afternoons on occasion to work on this uphill battle. (insert tirade) Us redheads have enough discrimination to over come in this world, let’s stand up and do something about it! (end tirade)
Anyways, after I “lay out” (I don’t know why I feel like I have to put quotes around that), my bathing suit is a little sweaty. I know this is getting a little personal and gross, but hey, I’m just keepin’ it real. (Thanks for the inspiration, Pioneer Woman.) So back to the sweaty bathing suit situation. I hang said item on the above pictured door knob to the closet, because I don’t particularly want to stuff a sweaty bathing suit back in the drawer and since I’m just going to “lay out” again tomorrow, why wash every time? Again, sorry for the graphic nature of this post. I know it’s a little edgy…this is all very pertinent to the story, I promise. This will also reveal a little humanity to those of you who may have before been intimidated by my immaculate house keeping.
Anyways, this afternoon I went to the closet to retrieve my bathing suit and work on my tan again, when to my great astonishment, I found this:
I know you were dying to see that again. And I repeat: IT IS NOT MINE. This is a MALE animal print thong. I DID NOT PUT IT THERE. My reaction was similar to Bella’s:
“Rrrreeearaarrr!! ffttt!!” (translation: “What the … “)
Maybe she thought it really WAS an animal. Or maybe she was thinking how UNCOMFORTABLE that must be. Or maybe she was wondering where her tail would go if she tried it on…I couldn’t tell you. In any case, we were both a little shocked.
WAS DAN LAYING OUT IN THIS THONG? DID HE HANG IT UP TO DRY THE SWEAT OUT? WAS HE DANCING AROUND THE HOUSE TO “HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT”??
Only Dan can answer these and many other burning questions. All I know is that it made Bella want to run away.